Welcome back! Before we jump in, an announcement 👇️ 

JOE ROGAN EPISODE IS OUT TODAY 🔥🎙️ 

This is the biggest podcast I’ve ever been on to share my message about foundational health and the interconnection with planetary health, culture, and spirituality. Please listen, watch, share, and comment. Clip your favorite parts, post them, send to your family, share about it in your newsletters and on social. Thanks for helping get the word out! In this episode, I talk a lot about the moment in history we are in - both the challenges and opportunities - and what can be done.

🎙️ Listen on Youtube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.

💘 Building Good Energy into my life plan… and how I made space to find love at 35

Living a healthy life with Good Energy is not just about eating good food and sustaining physical strength. It is also a mental and spiritual struggle, and requires deep reflection, serious planning, and courage. This is not a modern challenge, but the pace of change today, and our inter-connectedness which ironically can lead to feelings of dis-connectedness, requires us to adjust our life plans and strategies to live a full and happy life. Americans seem to be much less happy and are increasingly turning to dopamine hits and pessimism as the answer. These are not the answer. 

In today’s newsletter, I want to discuss this by sharing some of my own personal and mental struggles and responses, which I hope will shed a light on these central aspects of building Good Energy. Specifically, I’m going to be sharing about my journey of the loss of my mother, healing, and ultimately making space in my life to call in love. For anyone feeling “stuck,” whether in cultivating meaningful relationships (romantic or otherwise), finding professional fulfillment, or breaking out of patterns in life, I hope this newsletter will spark ideas for taking steps to find freedom and joy in this beautiful, precious life. 

Reprioritizing my life after loss

At age 33, just 6 weeks after I lost my mom abruptly to stage 4 pancreatic cancer, I went on a first date with a guy in New York City. After we had a nice dinner in the West Village, I went home to my apartment only to find myself devolving into a spiral of “clinginess”: finding myself anxious when there was more than an hour between texts, daydreaming about the future,  examining every word of his messages for clues on how he felt, and sending screenshots to my friends for advice. I was picking apart his social media posts from the prior 3 years for clues about his past romances. 

I knew I was acting crazy but couldn’t stop myself or change the way I felt. I’d become just the kind of dopamine fiend that our social network designers had planned for. My anxious energy drove him away quickly, and it took me a week to “recover” from the sting of this rejection. 

Witnessing myself acting this way was extremely unpleasant for me, and I’m sure it was equally unpleasant for him. It was not the energy I wanted to project onto a man or into the world, and I knew that insecurity and anxiety would never be fertile ground for finding the love I wanted: secure, blissful, positive, strong. I knew on some level this behavior had something to do with my mother’s death and my emotionally raw state, but I also didn’t quite know how to prevent this from happening again.

In desperation, I immediately called up a therapist I knew through a good friend and I leveled with her:

“Hey there, my name is Casey. I acted insane after a date last week, and I never want to act this way again. Can you help?” 

She said yes, and we started working together. I thought we would discuss the dating issue in a couple sessions, she’d give me some “coaching tactics,” I’d execute them, and my dating life would get back on track… 

What I didn’t expect was that this first call would lead to a two-year journey of therapy, spiritual inquiry, plant medicine, and exploration of my femininity which would enable me to turn over every possible stone of my life - from birth until present - and work to structure a new relationship with each “trigger” and maladaptive pattern in my life. 

I would learn about “inner-child” work, attachment styles, boundary setting, the divine feminine, Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy (QNRT), nonviolent communication, and much more. 

I would hit rock bottom in this process, going as far as shattering a glass coffee table in my living room as repressed anger surfaced and I moved through it. 

But as the months – and ultimately years – went on, I would ultimately evolve my identity and transform into the woman who could give and receive in the loving partnership I dreamed of. 

I would deconstruct my identity as a “feminist” and move towards embodying a completely different and greater power: the divine feminine. I would go from being angry at men, “the patriarchy,” and wanting “equality” in a relationship, to being committed to working as a dynamic team with a powerful man to build a beautiful life and create harmony by embodying different roles. 

I would go from believing menstrual periods, pregnancy, and childbirth were disadvantages and impediments for women in modern society, to honoring the divine power within me as a woman to create life and the unique cyclical rhythm of my female body: in tune with the moon, the seasons, and the tides. 

I would go from glorifying workaholism to finding guilt-free satisfaction in devoting meaningful time to cultivating my personal life and nurturing a calm nervous system. 

I went from obsessively thinking through every decision in my life to letting the awareness of my heart and intuition also guide me.

I went from using my mom’s unconditional love as an emotional crutch, to giving that unconditional love to myself and my psychologic “wounds,”  allowing those parts of me to finally settle down and not mercilessly control my behavior.

I went from feeling prideful in my commitment to rationality, to learning to humbly surrender to the mystery and magic of life. I learned that there is magic in the world, but, if you don’t believe in magic you will never find it or see it. 

I went from believing there are “no good men left out there” to realizing that I had not been ready for or prioritizing partnership.

Simply put, I got spit out on the other end as a woman I enjoyed being a lot more: more free, more feminine, more spiritual, more happy, more calm, less angry, less triggered. 

And then, my dream man walked into my life, like the most natural and predictable and magical thing in the world. We are now engaged. 

So with that backstory, here’s some practical reflections on how this came about for me between 2022-2024, which hopefully might help you:

💓 1. BELIEVE IN A BEAUTIFUL VISION FOR YOUR FUTURE 

If there’s one thing I feel certain about, it’s the power of holding a clear and limitless vision for the partnership - and the life - that you want. 

The “universe” can’t deliver what we don’t even allow ourselves to believe is possible. I think we benefit by allowing ourselves the freedom to imagine the most fabulous possible outcome for our love lives and our whole lives — without restriction. What’s the downside? At worst, you’ve had a good daydream. At best, you’ve planted a powerful seed for the future you are manifesting. 

Start by believing that your partner is “out there” and looking for you just as hard as you are looking for him (or her).

Do not buy into the cultural forces that say that there are “no good women” and “no good men” out there or that it is “too late” or that “online dating sucks.”  (I met my fiancé on Bumble!). 

I believe there are forces in our culture that are trying to exert power over people by denigrating the beauty of strong family and partnership, creating conflict between men and women, diminishing the role of motherhood, cooking, and homemaking, making women think their only value is climbing the corporate ladder, and making parenting seem like an impossible chore. I recommend limiting the consumption of this negative content which the algorithm force feeds us. Instead, find the happiest and most stable couples and families in your life and hang out with them and talk to them to ask them for advice. I spent a lot of time surrounding myself with healthy couples and families as I worked towards making space for a partner in my life, and I think this was very helpful. I limited my interactions with people who were pessimistic about partnership or family life. 

Stay inspired. Stay hopeful. Remember that anything is possible in this beautiful world, even the most wonderful things! Minimize negative, pessimistic energy into your orbit.  

🗣️ 2. CONSIDER THERAPY OR COACHING TO GET TO THE ROOT OF WHY YOU’RE NOT PRIORITIZING LOVE

In my experience, working with a coach/therapist was instrumental. My therapist helped me realize that there isn’t a “strategy” or “tactic” to dating or healthy relationships. Instead, for me it required a method and practice of integrating past negative experiences from childhood that create maladaptive patterns in my adult behavior. I had a wonderful childhood, but the reality is that most people will experience something in childhood that their young emotional regulation centers can’t fully process, and, without resolution, we can get “stuck” in that mindset (and the resulting coping tactics) forever. For me, the “work” was identifying those childhood experiences and lovingly “re-parenting” those parts of myself that may have not fully been protected in childhood. 

But here’s two key things about coaching or therapy that I think gets missed in the conversation… first, we must believe we will see meaningful, measurable changes in our lives from therapy, and that we are not stuck in our past patterns. 

Second, we benefit by honestly assessing at regular intervals whether therapy or coaching is creating meaningful changes in our life that we want, and if it is not doing that, we might need to get a new therapist or coach. If the modality isn’t playing out in significantly healthier relationships in our lives, then something about our approach or guide may not be jiving. Of course, we need to give these modalities time and patience. But in your gut, if you’re not moving forward, reassess the approach. 

📚️ 3. READ BOOKS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAT ALIGN WITH YOUR VALUES

I find books to be a very good way to continue refining my approach, thinking, and tactics on relationships. Make sure to choose relationship books that reflect your values and the type of relationship you want to cultivate. For instance, I wasn’t going to read a book about polyamory (of which there are many books on Amazon!), because that isn’t the type of relationship I was looking for. These are some of my choices that were helpful for me: 

1. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

2. Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.

3. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray, Ph.D. (in addition to other John Gray books)

4. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

5. 8 Rules of Love by Jay Shetty

6. Attached by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller

7. Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, Ph.D.

8. Maybe It's You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life by Lauren Handel Zander

Read my recent newsletter 94 health books to CHANGE YOUR LIFE for more of my book recs.

👂️ 4. LISTEN FOR CLEAR SIGNALS FROM THE UNIVERSE, AND THEN ACT ON THEM  

While I was visiting Topanga, California, from my home at the time in Bend, Oregon, on October 29th, 2022, I couldn’t sleep all night. I was restless. I had a strong impulse to get up and take a hike at sunrise, so I did. As the sun rose over the horizon, I had what I can only can call an epiphany… the universe telling me: “You must move to LA. This is where your partner is!”  This is the text I sent to my 2 best friends at 7:35AM that morning: 

It felt like a signal, maybe even a message from my mom from the spirit world. It felt right in every cell of my body. So I listened.

At the time, I was living in a sweet mountain town of Bend, Oregon, working on the manuscript for Good Energy and working full-time at Levels, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was feeling lonely. I ate a lot of meals alone. I took a lot of walks alone. I had invested a lot to move there, had made some great friends, but, at the end of the day, the town was very small, and there were not a ton of people in the same phase of life as me (most people were married or retired). I remember reading a paper alone at my kitchen table called “Breaking the vicious cycle: The interplay between loneliness, metabolic illness, and mental health,” and feeling a pang of sadness - I was lonely, and I knew it was affecting my health on some level. Something in my gut told me Bend wasn’t the right place for me at this moment in my life. My experience in Topanga solidified this. 

Despite no rational reason to move to LA, I acted on the signal and emailed my landlord and told him I would be moving soon. I started tracking Zillow and I developed a clear vision for the house I wanted: somewhere where I had a yard that I could work and play in, enough space to have guests over, and near hiking trails so I could hike alone and with friends. When looking for the “right” neighborhood in LA, I initially wanted to move to Topanga (a rustic town about 30 minutes from LA), but decided against it when my close friends and family reminded me that this still kept me out of the “action” of LA where more people were. I heeded their wisdom. They were right.

After a couple of months of searching, I saw a house on Zillow that fit all my criteria, and I excitedly wrote to the agent to inquire. The agent said that the owner had gotten dozens of applicants, but cared a lot about the character of who would be living in her home. With this information, I wrote a long and heartfelt letter to the owner describing who I was and what my values were and share a few links to my podcasts. The next day, they told me I got the house. I moved a few weeks later. 

✍️ 5. WRITE IT ALL DOWN

Thinking and talking are fine, but writing is special.

Writing things down forces you to be organized and specific - you are not just talking and waving your arms. You are committing to and communicating clear ideas.

So, I wrote so much in my journey to healing from the loss of my mother, and ultimately to partnership. I wrote about the exact partnership I wanted. I wrote it down over and over again. I wrote how I wanted to feel in a relationship.

I did guided manifestation journal prompts from my friend Kimberly Snyder.

I wrote stories about the future and what would happen in the relationship. I did not restrict myself to what I thought was “practical,” I just wrote down what my dreams were, unbridled.  

🙅 6. STOP THE DISTRACTIONS

In the summer of 2023 (at that time I was 35 years old), right after I moved to LA, I made a firm commitment to not go on a single second date with anyone that I knew in my gut was not going to be my life partner. If my gut told me it “wasn’t it,” I committed to being ruthless in cutting ties and simply not speaking to that person again. I wanted to tell the universe clearly that I was listening for the “yes” and “no” signals and was not going to disrespect the intuition that God was giving me. There was no more dating as a diversion or just for passing time and not having a lonely Friday night. I was either investing in someone I thought was a potential partner, or I was not engaging. I asked my coach and friends to hold me accountable to this.

🤝 7. ALLOW PEOPLE TO HELP

There are several people who supported me on my journey: I worked with a spiritual medium, a therapist, and even did a session with a dating coach! I know myself well enough to know that I NEED firm accountability on big endeavors, so having a support system was important for me. 

I also asked my best friends and family to help me identify my “blind spots” and why they thought I wasn’t finding the right partner. Their responses were pretty brutal, but incredibly helpful. I remember in 2022, sitting down with my best friend Fiona and asking her what my biggest blindspot was and she said bluntly: “You say your highest priority is finding partnership but you are making zero meaningful actions in your life to actually make that happen. You’re putting work first and so many other things.” My brother echoed these words in an even more blunt way: “If you really want partnership, then don’t go on another ‘girls trip’ until you find a partner. Get out of Bend, move somewhere with more people, get as healthy as possible, and be social. It’s not that complicated.” The CEO of my company reiterated all of this: “If you’re not making time for something, it is not actually a priority.” 

I also told trusted members of my network what I was looking for in partnership and asked them to look out for me and make introductions.

🔮 8. EMBRACE THE “WOO WOO” (AKA, THE MYSTERY)

There were so many “out there” things I did to try to tap into the “mystical” side of evolving my consciousness and ultimately being ready for partnership. Here are a few (these are NOT necessarily recommendations, but they were part of my journey!):

1. I set up a small meditation shrine in my house and prayed to photos of my ancestors asking for support on my personal journey, and wrote mantras and manifestations on small pieces of paper and tucked them around the shrine.    

2. I went to weekly group meditations and spiritual lectures at Self Realization Fellowship in order to tune in with Spirit. 

3. I worked with a spiritual medium who helped me try to connect with my spirit guides for support and guidance.

4. I did full moon ceremonies with grounded, powerful women where we called in abundance and let go of what wasn’t serving us, and amplified each others’ dreams. (I love this book: Lunar Abundance).

5. I hiked alone and talked (literally out loud) to the trees, letting them know I was ready for partnership, and asking them if they could help.

6. I made wishes on heads-up pennies, I made wishes when the clock struck 11:11, and I made wishes on the first stars I saw in the night sky! 

7. I pursued visualization techniques like the “Silva Method” that helped me “see” my visions for the future. 

8. I did plant medicine experiences with trusted guides and wrote extensively about my experience and insights. 🍄 

9. I read a LOT of poetry about love: Cesar Vallejo, Buson, Billy Collins, Abu Sa'id Abul Khayr, ee cumings, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Frederick Morgan, Isobel Thrilling, Kathleen Jamie, Kay Ryan, Kuan Tao-Sheng, Louise Bogan, Linda Paston, Louise Gluck, Marina Tsvetaeva, Mark Neppo, Mary Oliver, Maxine Kumin, Otero Silva, Nina Cassain, Kay Ryan Pablo Neurda, Rilke, Risa Kaparo, Sahabi, Rumi, Susan Olds, Sylvia Plath, Theodore Roethke… these are just a few of the poets I meditated on during this journey. I remember reflecting so much on this poem by Kay Ryan, “Stardust”:

In order to get “stardust,” I wanted to make myself a “perfect plane - something still”...

I needed to ground and be present. I needed to stop traveling every weekend and saying yes to everything for fear of missing out (FOMO) and disappointing people (remember, every “yes” is actually a “no” to something else).  

In the end, I’m not sure what worked and what didn’t, but it all meant something to me in setting my focus and energy, and taking that positive action created magic. 

👩‍💻 9. GET EXTREMELY TACTICAL

In the summer of 2023, once I’d moved to LA, I decided to get focused and organized to create that “plane” upon which partnership could land. Here is what I did: 

1. I typed out my list of desired qualities in an ideal partner. I listed 7 key, meaningful qualities I was looking for, with supporting details. This list ended up being 1 full typed page. I shared it with 2 close friends (my sister in law, my best friend) to “gut check” whether it felt like my truth. At first, I was resistant to making this list – it felt like I was trying to “outsmart” the universe and being too prescriptive. But when I settled into seeing this list as a way of getting clarity on what I really desired, in my most grounded, spiritual place, and made it about substantive qualities (nothing superficial), it felt right. 

2. I then wrote a document outlining how I was going to make “finding partnership” my #1 priority of the summer of 2023— the priority above work, above conferences, above “catch-up hikes” with girlfriends, above even showing up for family events. I had given 110% to everything in my professional, educational, and family life since I was about 14 years old… I finally committed to spending a few months giving real attention to my own personal life.  In the document, I laid out exactly what I was going to hold myself accountable to: 

   1. First, I was going to set up my house so I could entertain and host dinner parties and events. I got as specific as saying “get a good sound system,” “hang string lights in the yard,” and get a “dining table with 8 chairs.” I paid for an online interior decorator (shout out to Havenly - cheap and amazing service!) to help me decorate the main rooms in my house. (Havenly helps you do this on whatever budget you have - mine was very limited and they still crushed it!). 

   2. Once I got settled in this house, I made the commitment to not travel all summer. Summer of 2023 was about grounding in LA and “telling the universe” I was ready for stability and putting down roots. I took around 40 flights in 2022 when I was living in Bend, Oregon - I was leaving all the time. I had the assumption that “once I met someone, then I would slow down.” That strategy didn’t work for me, so I decided to invert this and slow down first.

   3. I then made a spreadsheet of all the friends I knew in LA and made an effort to reach out to many of them to set up time to connect when I moved to LA. If I wanted a community in a new city, I had to make an effort! 

   4. Once I got to LA, I committed to only doing activities that were “social,” at least for the summer. This meant changing many things in my life. For instance, I paused my training with my beloved personal trainer (Monica!), and instead joined a social gym. Instead of hiking with girlfriends, I joined a co-ed hiking group. Instead of going on runs alone, I joined a running club. I examined all the things I normally do alone (which is my comfort zone; I am an introvert in many ways!) and converted them to social activities. 

   5. I committed to going to 1 intellectual or wellness event per week, like a lecture, a seminar, or a group cold plunge.  

   6. I committed to doing 4 total social activities per week with the express goal of meeting new people.  

   7. I committed to joining Bumble and Hinge paid service and going on at least 1 date per week. If I didn’t have any success by September, I was going to invest in hiring a boutique matchmaking service and get a dating coach. 

   8. I committed to “temporarily decline social events that are just about connecting with girlfriends.” (This is a direct quote from my document😆 ). 

   9. I sharpened my personal style in clothing and made an effort to express my unique style as much as possible. This meant wearing a lot of colorful FarmRio!

All of this led to going to a lot of events alone, which at times was intimidating!  I went to LA tech week events alone, Stanford alumni events alone, wellness events alone, workout classes alone, and more. I talked to lots of people, I was friendly, I kept a positive attitude, and most importantly, I trusted in the process without discouragement or pessimism.

While I ended up meeting my partner online, I believe that all of the things I’ve listed above opened up the space and focus in my life to make it possible for me to be available for partnership and to ultimately find it.

There is far more to discuss, but I think that’s enough for today… The bottom line is this: we’re here for a short time. It’s important to step back to reflect and evolve, so we can build a life with Good Energy and intention. 

Share this with a friend who might benefit!

💓 Dr. Casey

💊 Newsletter Sponsor: Timeline!

👀 In Case You Missed It

👩‍🏫 New Course for Healthcare Practitioners with me and Rupa Health!

Many of the healthcare professionals in this community have been asking for more information about all of the things I discuss in Good Energy.

I am so excited to share that I’m doing a 6-week bootcamp with Rupa Health starting October 21st where you’ll learn how to master metabolic health, transform your practice and your patients’ lives, and detect metabolic dysfunction early with comprehensive diagnostics.

Join me for for six comprehensive lectures, six live Q&A sessions, an included Access Medical Labs Metabolic Panel and a free copy of my #1 Best-selling book, Good Energy.

Live sessions will be held at 2:00 pm PDT / 5:00 pm EST on October 23rd, 30th, November 6th, 13th, 20th, and December 4th. All sessions are 60 minutes, recorded, and will be made accessible to enrolled practitioners.

Sign up for the bootcamp here.

🎓️ FREE live lecture with Rupa Health THIS FRIDAY - ALL ARE WELCOME!

Join us on October 11th, 2024 9AM PT and learn about the clinical importance of understanding metabolic health in every patient, how to test for it and key dietary and lifestyle changes that can start to improve it.

In this lecture, I’ll discuss:

• The Burden of Metabolic Dysfunction in the US and the Metabolic Spectrum of Disease: Gain an understanding of the spectrum of metabolic diseases and review the criteria for diagnosing metabolic syndrome.

• Understand the Landscape of Metabolic Testing: Identify the essential metabolic tests to order for every patient at least twice a year, and distinguish between optimal and normal ranges for each test.

• Introduction to Benefits of Using Continuous Glucose Monitors (CGMs) in Practice: Understand the process of ordering a CGM for patients and how to interpret the data it provides

Register for the live class here. Hope to see you!

 🥰 Thriving in Perimenopause & Menopause Summit

My good friend Dr. Mariza Snyder is hosting the Thriving in Perimenopause & Menopuase Summit, FREE & Online Oct 14-18, 2024. In this FREE summit, 52 Top Experts Share the Cutting Edge Hormone Solutions to End Fatigue, Hot Flashes, Insomnia, Weight Gain, & More.

Register HERE. This is FREE!

You can also access this Thriving In Perimenopause Survival Guide as your essential roadmap to Perimenopause!

🙋‍♀️ LeadHer Summit

My beautiful and brilliant friend Dr. Tiffany Moon is planning an amazing summit for women this November in Dallas, TX. LeadHer Summit is a transformative 3-day luxury conference for women who are looking to amplify their professional and personal lives. We aim to foster a community that uplifts and empowers women to embrace their power and authenticity.

20 amazing speakers will be sharing insights on their specific area of expertise including women’s health advocacy, creating a thriving medical practice, bringing your big ideas to life, how to grow a $100 million company, and the power of executive coaching. Whether you’re a business owner, CEO, physician, lawyer or looking to be inspired to make that next move in your career, you’ll find inspiration from our top-tier female speakers.

Register here: https://www.leadhersummit.com/

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