šŸ˜ˆ The devilā€™s wellness plan

Plus, need-to-know pesticide legislation info

Welcome to this weekā€™s newsletter ā€” and happy April Foolā€™s Day!

This week, Iā€™m sharing something a little different: a poem! (Iā€™ve loved writing poetry for 20 years!).

While this one might read like satire fitting for April Foolā€™s Day, sadlyā€¦ itā€™s not a joke. Itā€™s uncomfortably close to reality. The goal is to grapple with some of the harsh realities of the modern world, while offering hope ā€” that by becoming more aware, we can begin to move toward something better.

Take a read and let me know: what did I miss?

Enjoy ā€” and as always, thank you for being here!

šŸ˜ˆ The devilā€™s wellness plan

A poem by Casey Means, MD (with some rhyming help from AI)

If I were the devil, Iā€™d ditch the disguiseā€”
No pitchfork, no flames, just marketing lies.
Iā€™d feed you poison, call it a ā€œsnack,ā€
And label you ā€œelitistā€ when you want your health back.

Iā€™d flood the media with videos of threats,
Distract and scare and create non-stop stress.
Iā€™d poison the soil, then praise the ā€œyield,ā€
While destroying the topsoil in every field.

Iā€™d bury research, seal the locks,
Then line you up for seventy-three shots.
Iā€™d cancel critical thinking, stop dissenters with bots,
Then jab your kids without a second thought.

Iā€™d shame the sunlight and worship shade,
And block the rays the holy sun made.
Then sell you D in plastic packs,
To fill the hole from all you lack.

Iā€™d flood your nights with dopamine,
From endless scrolls on little blue screens.
Iā€™d wreck your sleep and sell it back:
ā€œSweet dreamsā€ with Lunesta and a hundred sleep hacks!

Iā€™d break your trust in ancient ways,
And mock the moon and cyclesā€™ phase.
Iā€™d push the Pill and dull womenā€™s flame,
Till womanhood forgot its name.

Iā€™d give boys man-boobs through toxic food,
And call masculine strength aggressive and lewd.
Iā€™d whisper, ā€œYouā€™re too much, too loud,ā€
And shame menā€™s fire as something rude.

Iā€™d flood your screens with porn on demand,
Till touch means pixels, not holding a hand.
Iā€™d teach women that cooking is something to dread,
That birth needs control and a hospital bed.

Iā€™d destroy the Village, sell you ā€œsmart-phones,ā€
And push Reels that make mothers feel theyā€™re completely alone.
Iā€™d call the Sacred just a trend,
And glorify materialism without any end.

From kids to elders, Iā€™d fry their brains,
Depression, pain, and dementia their chains.
How can you fix things when you canā€™t think straight?
But donā€™t worry: Big Pharma will medicate.

Iā€™d put processed poison in the School Lunch,
Let taxpayers pay while the children get sunk.
Weā€™d say that cereal was breakfast of choice,
Packed with sugar and dyes to zap our life-force.

Iā€™d fill the oceans with microplastics and trash,
And poison rivers with pesticides and coal ash.
Iā€™d make you think that composting was hard,
And that you need Roundup to murder every weed in your yard.
Iā€™d fill the air with infertility-chemicals galore:
ā€œGlade Plug-Insā€ and ā€œLysolā€ as acceptable norms.

If I were the devil, Iā€™d play it smart:
No need for chainsā€”Iā€™ll just clog your heart!
Keep you comfy, fed, and blindā€”
Too tired to seek, too numb to find.

If I were the devil, Iā€™d tax you to no endā€”
Too broke to rise, too exhausted to defend.
No need for war or guns or screamsā€”
Just sugar, screens, and broken dreams.

If I were the devil, Iā€™d never showā€”
Iā€™d simply coax ā€œyesā€ from your mouth when your heart screams ā€œNO.ā€
No need for fire, just silent control,
Iā€™d promote self-abandonment that fractures your whole.

Iā€™d convince your species itā€™s small and weak,
Too scared of your power, too scared to speak.
Iā€™d help you forget you are a soul and pure lightā€”
A miracle of God trading Enlightenment for likes.
Iā€™d make you forget youā€™re One with all things,
An eternal note in the symphony the universe sings.

I hope youā€™ll stay distracted by my noise and my spin,
Never suspect Iā€™m the one who is weakest within.
For if you believed the limitless love that you are,
Youā€™d rise from my grip and entertain me no more.
No fight, no fire ā€” just your peace and your breath,
And Iā€™d melt in a flash, disarmed by your depth.

šŸ¤ 

So, with the ā€œDevilā€™s wellness planā€ ā€” what did I miss in there? Pretty eerily accurate, huh? šŸ˜‘

For the record, I donā€™t believe in a literal devil. But I do wonder whether humanity is being tested right nowā€¦ by God, by the universe. If we are, I think this test is about whether we, as a species, are willing to show that we want humanity to persist ā€” or whether weā€™re going to succumb to our lower impulses and destroy ourselves.

We are in a moment of history where our knowledge and technological capabilities give us the power to destroy the planet instantly (i.e., nuclear war!). But, we also have the knowledge and technological capabilities to heal it and create a sustainable future. This is the fascinating, incredible moment weā€™ve been lucky to be born into.

Weā€™ve been given the ultimate gift: Existence. But our actions as a global community suggest weā€™re choosing to squander it for profit, convenience, thoughtlessness, ā€œpower,ā€ or efficiencyā€” unsustainably extracting from the Earth and destroying its biodiversity, which will obviously come back around to hurt us.

My hope is that we wake up and choose to show how deeply we value life, the Earth, and the opportunity to continue this human experiment... aka, to ā€œpassā€ the test. Behaviorally modern humans have been here for a very short time, and thereā€™s no guarantee we get to continue. (If Earthā€™s history were a 24-hour clock, behaviorally modern humans would appear in the last few seconds before midnight). Weā€™re tinyā€¦ and yet, quantum science reminds us we matter, a lot. Our choices ripple out. Entanglement is real. Even our thoughts affect the whole.

I invite you to pray, meditate, or simply reflect ā€” for the strength to envision a positive path forward, for your own life, for the planet, and for our species. That we may raise our collective awareness and move toward deeper connection ā€” with ourselves, with each other, and with the greater mystery weā€™re all a part of. We canā€™t create what we canā€™t imagine, but we often limit our ability to even imagine because we forget our own miraculousness.

So I invite you to pause ā€” to reflect, pray, or meditate ā€” and envision a more sustainable and bright path forward. One rooted in love for life, for Earth, and for one another.

The choice is ours.

šŸ’— , Dr. Casey

ā˜£ļø Pesticide/herbicide legislation updates: itā€™s not good

I also want to share the content from a post I put on Instagram and X yesterday, which I think is critical to know about šŸ‘‡ļø 

First, did you know that all of the diseases below are linked to synthetic pesticide exposure?

  • ADHD

  • Alzheimerā€™s disease

  • Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS)

  • Anxiety, depression, and mood disorders

  • Asthma / respiratory issues

  • Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and other neurodevelopmental delays

  • Birth defects and congenital abnormalities

  • Cancer (e.g., non-Hodgkin lymphoma, thyroid, leukemia, brain, breast, prostate, testicular)

  • Cardiovascular disease

  • Chronic fatigue syndrome

  • Cognitive impairment

  • Diabetes / metabolic syndrome

  • Fetal growth restriction / low birth weight

  • Hashimotoā€™s thyroiditis / hypothyroidism

  • Autoimmune disease

  • Infertility (male and female), hormone disruption, and sperm dysfunction, low testosterone

  • Kidney damage / chronic kidney disease (CKD)

  • Liver disease

  • Mitochondrial dysfunction

  • Obesity

  • Parkinsonā€™s disease

  • Acute poisoning and death (at least 1,000,000 unintentional pesticide poisonings per year, approximately 20,000 deaths)

  • Reproductive tract abnormalities (e.g., hypospadias, cryptorchidism)

  • Many skin disorders (dermatitis, eczema, rashes)

šŸ‘Øā€āš–ļø Massive legislative push RIGHT NOW backed by Bayer-Monsanto

There are bills being successfully jammed through several states right now to create ā€œpesticide/herbicide liability shields,ā€ meaning people will no longer be able to sue pesticide companies for diseases they cause.

The Iowa Senate just passed the bill last week (Senate File 394), led by Republican lawmakers. House Bill 544 passed in Missouri by the House of Representatives. HB 522 advanced in Montana's House Agriculture Committee. It's happening all over.

Meanwhile, also last week, Bayer-Monsanto was ordered to pay out $2.1 billion for causing lymphoma in a man who used Roundup in his yard for several years.

Over 170,000+ cases have been filed against Roundup alone, and all those cases for people whose lives have been destroyed by these chemicals will likely be dropped if this legislation goes through. Zero recourse.

Front groups for agrochemical corporations like ā€œModern Ag Allianceā€ ā€“ which was created by Bayer - A German company that makes Roundup ā€“ are claiming these bills will ā€œprotectā€ American farmers and keep food prices low, which is a lie. Nothing is more costly than destroying biodiversity. They are using relentless advertising: billboards, full-page ads in the NY Times and WSJ, and paid marketing on social media to confuse the conversation.

They LOVE the phrase ā€œcrop protection.ā€ Poison doesnā€™t protect anything.

This is the same playbook as the horrific 1986 Childhood Vaccine Liability Act, which shielded vaccine manufacturers from being sued for adverse effects and deaths from vaccines. What happened after that? A literal explosion in the number of vaccines on the CDC schedule (to over 70 vaccines per child) and a complete, full-court suppression of the science showing known harms.

I believe the same thing will happen with pesticides: we will see a massive increase in use, as these companies will have no risk of paying forā€”or being held criminally liable forā€”the harm they cause.

Billboards paid for by the group started by Bayer: ā€œModern Ag Allianceā€

What people don't understand is that the companies making most of the poisonous agrochemicals used in the United States are NOT even U.S.-based companiesā€”they are Chinese, German, and Swiss-owned companies (Bayer, ChemChina-Syngenta, BASF) lobbying in the U.S. to have unfettered access to poison our soil and people for profit.

Again, itā€™s the same playbook we're seeing with Novo Nordiskā€”a Danish company aggressively influencing U.S. policymakers with relentless lobbying dollars to jam GLP-1 agonists onto the CMS reimbursement schedule for huge swaths of the population (anyone who is obese or overweight). If H.R.4818 passes, it could mean hundreds of billions per year (or more) are directly funneled from U.S. taxpayers to a Danish companyā€”for a drug that doesnā€™t actually address the root causes of obesity in this country.

Once this cat is out of the bag on the pesticide liability shields, there is really no recourse to the mass environmental and human poisoning that will increasingly affect all of usā€”whether we buy organic or not, whether we personally use these chemicals or not.

While thankfully I can still choose not to get a COVID booster or take a pharmaceutical drug, I canā€™t choose whether or not the rain falling on my head contains glyphosate. These pesticides are killing chemicalsā€”thatā€™s what theyā€™re designed to do. Many of them were originally developed by Nazi Germany (read my newsletter for more on this). Their use is rising exponentially. Their health effects have NEVER been studied in combination or in real-world use.

And now theyā€™re on our food, in our parks, on our golf courses and lawns, in our water, on our dogsā€™ paws and fur, and falling from the sky in the rain.

They're everywhere: invisible poisons being sprayed on us largely by foreign-owned companies.

WE ARE LIVING IN A CRAZY WORLD! And ALL our choices matter! We enable these companies to exist by BUYING their products or food sprayed with their products!

In the Iowa Senate vote that passed on March 26th, advancing the pesticide liability shield (Senate File 394), the push was led by Republicans, including Mike Bousselot (R-Ankeny). Somehow, he didnā€™t get the memo that:

  • Iowa has the second highest rate of cancer in the U.S.

  • Iowa is one of the top five highest pesticide-using states.

  • Iowa's main crops are soybeans and cornā€”most of which are used to produce soybean oil and grain-based feed for feedlot animals, both of which are deeply damaging to public health.

Also, in case you werenā€™t aware, these pesticide companies ghost-write papers claiming their chemicals are safe. Just like the tobacco industry did. Just like vaccine and pharmaceutical companies have done.

These companies also have a US government funded "private social network" attacking pesticide critics, smearing regenerative agriculture leaders like Michael Pollan and sharing ultra-personal details of the people they are targeting.

Most synthetic pesticides, herbicides, and insecticides are a slow-motion extinction event. The lasting domino effects on health, fertility, cancer, neurodegeneration, global biodiversity, topsoil integrity, ocean and aquatic life, and more I think could potentially push us reach a tipping point. Weā€™re poisoning the intricate web of life for a false sense of convenience and efficiency. Please pay attention, speak up, and choose differently. And for the love of God never buy Roundup.

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ENERGYbits šŸŽ‰ 

ENERGYbits are 100% organically-grown algae ā€“ which is one of the most potent detoxification foods on the planet. In the aftermath of the LA fires, I turned to their spirulina and chlorella tablets ā€“ two types of pure algae ā€“ for gentle detox support out of concern for the heavy metal and chemical exposure after 10,000 homes and cars burned and released their toxins into the air right around me. šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø Chlorella and spirulina are a powerful combination because chlorella is extremely effective for detoxification and spirulina for cellular repair. Because of my exposure to wildfire smoke, I have taken a handful of ENERGYbits chlorella and spirulina every single day since the fires, and it has given me immense confidence that Iā€™m helping my body recover in a powerful but natural way.

ENERGYbits arenā€™t a supplement, they are actually little ā€œbits of food!ā€ They are pure, organically-grown algae tablets that provide protein, antioxidants, and over 40 vitamins and minerals in a whole food form. Especially because I travel so much, I love having them with me at all times as they can fill nutritional gaps: they are nutrient dense and 99% bioavailable. Algae is rich in glutathione (our bodyā€™s key antioxidant, which we can both make in our bodies and get from food), carotenoids, and diverse amino acids. And each bit is only 1 calorie (so a serving of 30 bits is just 30 calories). ENERGYbits are a single ingredient product: just sustainable algae grown in fresh water, air dried, pressed into tablets, and third party tested. There are NO fillers or binders. 

šŸ’š Why chlorella?

As we age, our bodies become less efficient at eliminating toxins. From mercury in fish (like you read about last week!)  to pollutants in our air and water, toxins are everywhere. Chlorella is a powerful, natural solution backed by decades of research. Chlorella acts like a ā€œgreen vacuumā€ for your body and contains sporopollenin, a unique compound shown to bind with heavy metals, mold toxins, and chemical residues - helping your body safely eliminate them.

Research shows that chlorella can help remove the following toxins - most of which we are constantly exposed to in our everyday lives šŸ‘‡

  • ā˜ ļø Mercury, lead, and cadmium

  • šŸ„½ BPA and plastic residues

  • šŸ¦  Mold biotoxins

  • āš ļø Ammonia and urea buildup

  • ā˜£ļø Pesticide and herbicide exposure

šŸ’ššŸ’™ Chlorella and spirulina as a powerhouse duo for detoxification

Wildfire smoke generates free radicals in our bodies that can damage our mitochondria. After exposure to the smoke from the recent fires, it was so important to me to heal and protect my cells from oxidative stress. 

Spirulina is rich in Superoxide Dismutase (SOD), a key antioxidant enzyme that helps neutralize free radicals and repair mitochondrial damage. What does SOD do? šŸ‘‡

  • šŸ”‹Supports cellular energy production and vitality

  • šŸ“‰Helps reduce inflammation from environmental toxins

  • šŸƒAids in faster recovery from exposure to pollutants

  • šŸ’ŖPromotes stronger immune resilience

A normal daily dose is 30 tablets each of spirulina and chlorella and it has made me feel so much more confident throughout the wildfire fiasco. Itā€™s effortless to take ā€“ I pour a little handful in my palm, and swallow the whole bunch with a big swig of water. I also sometimes snack on them when I need a little snack on an airplane or in the care. Theyā€™re great for all ages and safe for pets. Fortunately, with a regimen of lots of hydration, a high fiber diet, sauna, and daily ENERGYBits, my Total Toxic Burden test about a month after the fires was not extremely concerning, which was a huge relief.

Again, get 20% off ENERGYbits Spirulina and RECOVERYbits Chlorella with code ā€œGoodEnergyā€. Click to purchase through their website here.

šŸ‘€ In Case You Missed It

šŸšØšŸ“šļø New book alert! The Ageless Brain: How to Sharpen and Protect Your Mind for a Lifetime by Dr. Dale Bredesen

Ask people what they most fear about aging, and one culprit is likely to top their list: memory loss. Whether weā€™ve watched a loved one suffer, or weā€™ve begun to experience scary moments of forgetfulness ourselves, losing our cognitive abilitiesā€” and our independenceā€”is a terrifying prospect. Today, more than six million Americans live with Alzheimerā€™s disease; by 2050, this number is projected to reach 13 million. An additional one in 10 people over the age of 65 have dementia.

Dr. Dale Bredesen, a world-renowned pioneer in the field of neurodegenerative research, shares the latest, cutting-edge science on preventing the onset of neurodegenerative disease to create sustained brain health.

Purchase your copy on Amazon here.

Read my past newsletter honoring the amazing work of Dr. Bredesen, here.

šŸ“…šŸ“šļø New book out May 13th: Live Well: Empowering Habits for Vibrant Health and Unstoppable Energy by Adriana Shuman

Adriana Shuman, a Functional Medicine Wellness expert and former pharmacist, has helped hundreds of people reclaim their energy, reduce inflammation, heal their gut, and finally feel good in their bodies againā€”without guessing and restrictions.

Through her signature ā€œLive Well Method,ā€ Adriana offers a simple, sustainable, and empowering roadmap to restore health with ease. Her method is rooted in four foundational pillarsā€”Environment, Food, Sleep and Movement ā€”making wellness not just doable, but deeply transformative.

Pre-order by May 13th and get over $300 in free resources here.

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